What makes us happy?  It’s a universal question for so many different reasons and the reason it can never be definitively answered is because all of us are quite different and so happiness means so many different things to so many different people.  Even though this is true the one thing that seems to fit in the happiness equation for every single heterosexual woman that I know is a great guy to share our lives with.  Whether we envision that classic image of a charming house with a white picket fence and a mini-van in the garage or a contemporary and spacious apartment in New York someday with huge walk-in closets the fact remains that we want a great guy to share those dreams with. For so many of us finding that man is a difficult task.  The saying goes that good men are hard to find however from observing the behavior of some of my female acquaintances I’m not so sure that good men are that hard to find but more so there isn’t that many good men left after failing to measure to the standards that we’ve created.   

Of course I am going to elaborate.  In today’s society we women aren’t taught that our purpose in life is the procreate and please a man instead we are taught that the world is ours and we can get anything as long as we work hard and stay determined.  Don’t get me wrong all of those things are true when it comes to education, careers, goals and ambitions but when it comes to intangible things like love we shouldn’t be so controlling.  Love isn’t supposed to be controlled.  It’s unpredictable and unconditional.  Of course a gal has to have standards and there are some things that are deal breakers when it comes to the opposite sex although there are some standards that are so absurd that they aren’t just standards they are potential barriers that we’ve created that are destined to keep us unfulfilled for quite sometime.  

Absurd Notion #1- I absolutely will not date a man that’s younger than I am.

I used to scream this notion too when I was younger and so much dumber but after dating a guy that was “the perfect age” and living through that disaster I learned a valuable lesson which is that sometimes age is just a number because his outlook on life was a lot more limited than the one I had.  Then the more that I think about it the more absurd the notion of bypassing y0unger men seems to be.  Demi has Ashton and she’s never looked better or seemed happier and then there’s Eva and Tony so maybe these celebs are on to something.  The pop singer Mario is a year younger than me and I think he’s yummy!  If given the chance I’d ring his bells.  LOL!  Men date women who are younger then them all of the time but why is it that a lot of women are so turned off from the idea?  You better think about it before you turn down that younger male specimen.  He may have pockets that are deeper than yours and may be equipped to teach you some things that an older gentlemen won’t be able to.

Absurd notion #2- I won’t date a man who makes less money than I do

Again why is it is so much more acceptable for a woman to date a man who makes more money that she does but not the same for men?  Of course I don’t advocate being a sugar mama by any means but as long as man is trying then I think that a little compromise couldn’t hurt.  We’re always screaming for equality but sometimes when it’s us who have to give more than we receive we sometimes become a bit as selfish as we proclaim that most men are.  Harsh but true.  Isn’t a relationship about give and take?  Tit for tat?  Now give up some you know and you’ll get the you know.  😉

The last absurdity is holding on for dear life for superficial qualities.  There’s this saying that says “be careful what you ask for because you just might get it” the same goes for relationships.  I know some women who hold on so tight to an insane superficial image of the perfect man that eventually it causes their unhappiness.  They shun potential mates because they don’t possess all of these “perfect qualities” then when they find their so called “perfect mate” they realize that the superficial qualities aren’t what their always cracked up to be.  However by the time they realize this and start to think of all of the men that they turned away because of these absurd standards then it may be far too late to let go of those notions.

Here’s a sane notion.  Let go and allow the universe to send you something delightful and new and perhaps you may learn more about yourself and find the “man of your dreams”.