Hello loves! I apologize once again for neglecting you for so long, but you have to admit that life is so difficult nowadays. We’re still battling the pandemic of COVID and other pandemics in the name of ignorance, hate, and inflation. As you say your prayers tonight, send up a comfort prayer to the families of those who died in Buffalo, Uvalde, and now Tulsa. In addition to praying for others, be sure to do yourself the kindness of praying for yourself. During such a difficult two years, I’ve learned that you have to pray for every facet of your life, even in dating. When I last wrote, I spoke about God being the best listener and my reflection on the things that I’m grateful for and one of those things happen to be the act of reflection.


Reflection is a blessing and because I can honestly reflect, I think it’s caused my intuition to be on point. Last Wednesday, I could barely sleep because I knew I would be going to an event on Thursday where there was a good possibility that I would run into one of my former paramours. I knew this because the event would be in an area of town that he frequents. I couldn’t sleep because my intuition was telling me that I needed to reflect on the entire situation and that I needed to prepare myself for the potential encounter. My intuition is about 90% at the free throw line. LOL! Well, lo and behold, Thursday night comes, I go to the event, and just as I am having a great time with my homies, here comes my ex. Swoosh, my intuition has scored yet again. Here we go.

What is an ex?

Before I elaborate further on the encounter, let’s evaluate just exactly what an ex is? According to Google, it’s defined as: In social relationships, an ex is someone with whom a person was once associated, in a relationship or marriage. As you can see, Google gives a very unbiased answer, well here’s my definition of an ex. Ex: A person who you tried your best with but didn’t believe fat meat was greasy and when they see you after time has passed and you still look good and are doing better, this person gets discombobulated and develops a case of amnesia that could persist for up to 30 days.

Now while you were with this person, they could go days ignoring you, but they see you out after two years has passed, all of a sudden, they’re a texting fool. After coming up to me and asking me “are you on a date?” and having a metaphorical pissing contest with my male friends, the texting commences. Oh, all of a sudden you can communicate. Then there was the second time you come up to me and ask, “why did I block you?” Oh, you want to be direct now, after giving me mixed signals and playing games, now you want to directly know why I blocked you on social media? Then as I’m trying to leave and get as far from you as I possibly can, you continue to come up to me and try to have a conversation that is fueled with complete gaslighting and blatant amnesia. You bring up the fact that you didn’t talk to me after a trip, but you completely forgot that you blew me off and when we did have a conversation and you didn’t get your way, you behaved like a petulant child. Amazing. Well, I’m proud to report that I handled myself well throughout the night, I didn’t make a scene, I didn’t raise my voice, and most importantly, I had a great time with my friends.

Reflection Continued

Since last week, I’ve listened to “Ex Factor” by Lauryn Hill a few times to prepare my thoughts and this post, and I have some key takeaways. During my relationship with that ex, all I wanted was reciprocity, that’s it. You see when dealing with women, you must know that we begin treating you how we want to be treated and then we begin treating you as you treat us. When it comes to effort, I was the one doing all of the giving, he was on the receiving end. When I voiced my concerns, they fell on deaf ears. In addition, I stated several times that once I leave, I won’t be back, that fell on deaf ears as well. See, he didn’t believe fat meat was greasy, still. Lauryn was spot on; all we want is reciprocity. Lauryn did lose me with the “coming back” references and “I can’t be with no one else”, because with me, that’s just a damn lie. I will always choose myself over a toxic situation. Now don’t get me wrong, he looked good, he always looked good, he’s gorgeous, but the devil was the prettiest angel in heaven before God evicted him. So, in conclusion, when it comes to the “Ex Factor”, don’t ever swiftly go running back. Take some time to reflect on why it went left in the first place, hell make a list, if the cons far outweigh the pros keep going forward, I promise you’re going in the right direction.