Greetings all! I pray that you are looking forward to having a loving and thankful holiday season.  We all deserve a day of good food filled with love and family.  As long as there is breath in your body, you are blessed and we should all take stock in that as much as we can.  With that being said, it’s never a bad thing to take stock in other areas in life.  Mainly the type of men that we are entertaining.  Yes, this post is about to go there.  Most people have to have an outlet to deal with the craziness in life.  I have several, one in which is television.  I love to just space out with some good and bad T.V. from time to time.

One spectacular show that I indulge in has made me reflect on the type of men that are floating around out there.  That show is Queen Sugar.  Good fiction is based upon reality, even if we know that it isn’t real, the idea that it could be possible makes it watch-worthy.  Queen Sugar is an hour long drama on the OWN network based upon a novel of the same name by Natalie Baszile.  Both the book and the show are off the hook.  I’d read the book over and over again when given the opportunity and I have every aired episode saved on my DVR to watch whenever I get the chance.  The premise of the show is a family, the Bordelons, finding out that the sugar cane business isn’t as sweet as it sounds.  Some members of the Bordelons are discovering that not all males are as sweet either.  Three dominant male characters from the show has inspired this post.  As women we must ask ourselves are we dealing with a Ralph Angel, Davis or a Remy?

Hershey’s New Flavor, Ralph Angel

img_7635The type of woman you are directly reflects the type of man that is dominant in your life.  When I realized this a while ago, a lightbulb came on for me.  Everyone has a journey that they are going through, some people are meant to travel that journey with you, while others aren’t. Oftentimes you have to reach certain destinations in that journey before passengers are welcome, until then, it’s probably best if you travel alone.  In terms of sugar,  I’ll rate these types of men with lollipops.  Early in your life, it’s safe to assume that every woman has been involved with a Ralph Angel.

I would rate the Ralph Angels of the world with three lollipops.  img_7642

Let’s keep it real, Ralph Angel is gorgeous, that chocolatey skin alone would make any woman swoon.  He seems to have a genuine heart but he’s got a lot of internal work to do.  Ralph Angel is the guy who’s a little bit of a bad boy, he’s made some mistakes, had a few brushes with the law and has seemed to learned his lesson. However until he gets himself together, I cannot see him being the ideal man for any woman.  There’s a saying that goes “until a man is ready, he will ruin every woman he’s with.”  I think this saying is the embodiment of the Ralph Angels out there.  He’s got the looks, he’s got a steady gig, he’s got a precocious little angel but truth be told, he still has some major issues.  No matter how sweet these men seem or how delectable the loving is, it’s best not to anticipate something long term with this type of man because chances are you’ll wind up with the sour face in the long run.  He has potential, but right now ain’t the time.  This chocolate dish isn’t quite ready just yet.  In this stage in life, you learn to forgo your sweet tooth for a while.

Bitter Baller

img_7636Life goes on, you learn to let the Ralph Angels mature as you seek to do the same but you should never let your guard down because if you do, you may wind up with a lollipop that looks sweet but is anything but.  Our hearts go out to Ralph Angel’s sister Charley, who is dealing with the personal hell of divorce, but her divorce is no everyday run of the mill separation, it’s a highly publicized, laced with scandal and humiliation in front of the whole world divorce.  Coupled with the fact that her father just died and she’s trying to manage a sugar cane farm in the midst of a vicious family who’s history includes terrorizing the Bordelons.  Needless to say Charley has some stress she’s faced with, but none of that is worse than the realization of being married to a man for 16 years who was a big fat fraud.  There are thousands of Davis’ out there.  They are handsome, ambitious, talented, smart and packaged exactly how we dream but a big piece that is often overlooked is missing.  That piece is morals.  Morals!  Morals? Remember morals?  They used to be at the top of our list for requirements but somewhere in our morally corrupt society we decided they weren’t as important anymore, especially when everything seems peachy keen.  But when things take a turn for the worse, those morals are the things that matter the most and the lack of morals is probably the root of things going left in the first place.


I would rate Davis as a one lollipop.

You have to be prepared to identify the Davis’ over time because initially pinpointing their sourness won’t be as easy as you think it is.  God forbid you’ve married the undesirable like Charley has.  Davis is the equivalent of a piece of candy that starts out sweet but the more that it inhabits your mouth it becomes a bad mistake and the residue is longstanding.

Remy, Remy, Remy, Yummy!


Whether or not you’ve dealt with a Davis, the reality is “no one is going to blame you for wanting a good man” like Nova Bordelon tells Charley after she’s unsure of a personal decision.  Nova’s brief reassurance reminds us all that under no circumstances will anyone fault you for wanting a good man.  We all want and deserve one.  Truth be told that when you’ve dealt with an asshole or three a good man is doubly appreciated.  Charley is that rare breed of woman who has only been with one man and who only knows how to be monogamous with a presumably good man and when her whole world has been obliterated she craves similar intimacy with a better man than Davis pretended to be.  Enter Remy Newell.  Remy is so dreamy because not only is he fine as shit but he’s a good man, a good manly man, a good chivalrous man, and especially a good moral man.


Remy is rated as five lollipops.

He’s the complete package, he may not have the salary of a Davis, but he’s ambitious and quite intelligent, any man who can breed a special hybrid of sugar cane is no idiot.  The men out there who represent Remy Newell may not have all of the flashy packaging as a Davis but what he stands for exudes so much more, and quite frankly it is sexy as all hell.  It’s the type of sexiness that you grow to appreciate with age and maturity.  We all need and will eventually want the sweetness that Remy is serving in his flattering jeans.  What a package! img_7638

Just like we indulge in our favorite shows from time to time, we indulge in men as well but some are sour and some are sweet.  As time goes on, we must learn to determine the difference, will this man be a long-term steady drip of sheer sweetness or will he be an everlasting bitter taste in our mouth once packaged as something desirable?  Evaluate your dessert as you give thanks!


In January, I lost someone who was dear to me, but I am thankful for the love and friendship that I was blessed with while he was here.  He was a dear friend of mine and it’s funny that his father and my beloved father were best friends and now we’re there for one another through the sadness.  As time goes on, make sure that you love the people in your life while you have them and don’t let small bitterness wreck something that could’ve been everlastingly sweet.  Rest in eternal love EJ and know that as long as I am here, you will be represented well.  You and Papi enjoy the holidays up there and know that your love shines through us all daily.