Greetings! I pray that your fall has been going well and you’re looking forward to the upcoming holiday season. I certainly am, but as Halloween has just ended many of us still feel as though there are thousands of tricks being placed in our path constantly so it’s only right that I discuss some of the issues that we black women are now faced with.
Recently a couple of things have been put in my path that has highlighted some heavy realizations for me. First of all, as an educator, I was recently asked a typical question by budding educational students at a nearby university, “Why did I get into education?” Then secondly I had to discuss the harsh reality of the world with my favorite niece who’s about to be an adult in a matter of months. My response to the educational students is that the reason I went into education is because I believe that education along with prayer are the only two things in the world that truly work. When it comes to my niece, I had to give her the same speech that my parents gave me as a teenager, which is the white privilege versus black excellence speech, “You have to be three times better than them in order to get half of what they have.” With both realizations coupled with the hypocrisy that we are routinely faced with, bearing the crown of a Nubian queen can become troublesome.
Last week, a once popular Florida rapper, Trick Daddy attained a few minutes in the spotlight by posting a video “warning” black women to tighten up their physical appearance because white and Latin women were gaining ground on us. The entire thing was comical but truth be told behind the comedy of the absurdity lies a lot of hurt and pain. First of all, he referred to all three groups of women (Black, Latin and White) as “hoes” now I don’t know where you come from, but from where I come from being called a hoe by anyone isn’t pleasant but being referred to as hoes from a washed up ass rapper who looks like stir-fry bad decisions is not popping. So the simple fact that he used the term “hoes” repeatedly simply means that he wasn’t talking to me. However, in actuality, we all knew what he meant to say, even if he didn’t articulate it well. Let’s say for the sake of the argument for a brief minute or two we actually listened to what he had to say, it’s so sad that we black women are still, centuries later bearing the brunt of blatant disrespect and being pitted against other women of other races according to some arbitrary standards of men. Especially by men some of us wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole.
Thrice Better to get Half
You know the unique thing about a man is that he can look like Trick Daddy and still think he has the absolute right to criticize the appearance of a woman. You have to love them huh? Embedded in his ridiculous statements I could simply hear the words of my parents, “you have to be three times better than them, to get half of what they have.” For black men, it’s simply two times which is what my parents made sure I understood. In this context, I guess black women are starting to lack in beauty standards regardless of the fact that we are documented as this country’s most educated demographic. Hell, I’m a representation of that. But is he introducing something valid here? Am I lacking in the beauty department in some way that doesn’t measure up to the “white hoes” and “Latin hoes” which is why I’m successful but alone?
Which opposition is worse?
Again, the unique thing about a man is the he can look like Trick Daddy or Donald Trump for that matter and think he has the carte blanche to criticize our exterior. They can criticize our appearance, do they criticize our accomplishments as well? Is that the reason why men who have five different children with four different women who makes half of what I earn think I’m a total snob when I won’t even consider dating them? What is the problem here? It’s not a fully racial one, because if that was so, Trick Daddy’s disgusting thinking wouldn’t exist and quite frankly, he isn’t the only black man out there who feels that way about “us”, there are plenty of black men who feel that way about the women who’d go to war for them.
The weight of the crown is heavy when on the left you have the Trick Daddies of the world and on the right, you have Donald Trumps lurking in every direction. This realization may make you even question whether or not these imbeciles see your crown. Maybe we need to add more jewels. Let’s see there’s the jewel of spirituality, worshipping a savior who loves and values women, giving life, possessing a natural and coveted beauty, educating ourselves and hustling so hard that you damn near have to redefine the term. All or many of these jewels sit in the crown of the average woman in the modern world but so often men don’t behave in a way that is appreciative of such. Instead we get criticisms from a washed up rapper who looks like walking gonorrhea and blatant disrespect from a presidential candidate who is a joke personified.
“The most disrespected person in America is the Black Woman.”-Malcolm X
Years later and Brother Malcolm’s words still ring true like they have never before. We are disrespected by others and we are disrespected by our own, the latter admission cuts deeper than any other wound because of how we go hard for the black man. Studies show that majority of the black women in prison are serving sentences that had something to do with a man. I myself have even gone against my better judgment and tried to give a black gargoyle or two a chance and in turn wound up on the receiving end of either blatant or indirect disrespect. Thankfully I have sense enough to nip the sh*t in the bud as soon as it occurs. However, for so many women, that isn’t the case. The disrespect continues to build over time and if not educated properly, the outcomes are damaging.
The Most Educated Demographic in America
Black women are the most educated, lettered demographic in the United States. That means that we out number our sisters in terms of trying to better ourselves but oftentimes that isn’t what is highlighted about us. What’s publicized most about is our appearance, whether or not we can truly twerk and everything else truly irrelevant that the masses can identify. Let’s take stock here, why is the male dominated world so damn afraid of empowering the black woman? Are they afraid? Are they intimidated? Quite frankly, I believe they are…What could being the most educated result in?
- We are the contradiction of what white supremacy said we were good for (bedwarmers and broodmares).
- We are contradictory to the idea of feminine inferiority.
- We can support ourselves financially.
- Our mental capacity is as great if not greater than our male counterparts.
- The possibility of a black female president someday.
- Most importantly, the absolute guarantee that a black woman will read your asses to the gawds with informative receipts that will not only take you down a peg or three but will nail your sorry asses to the wall!
In other words, Tricks and Trumps please!