Greetings all! I certainly hope that the fall months have been good to you, they’ve been very good to me. No, I don’t have anything going in the realm of romance but I’ve been enjoying life. Thus far, I’ve been zip lining again, traveled to a coveted SEC football game and taught an outside course for an individual contractor highlighting my language and writing expertise. So again, life has been good although there’s no new man to light my fire. With that being said, I’ve had time to observe quite a bit in the world surrounding me and of course, I have a perspective on it.
“Comparison is the thief of joy!”
What is joy? Joy is that infinite feeling of true happiness no matter the circumstances that you are faced with. We all want joy, we all pray, hope and wish for joy regardless of our history and what future we’re marching towards. Who wants to be miserable or unhappy? It takes a truly mature individual to realize that what is joyful for someone else doesn’t necessarily equate the same for me. Upon learning that lesson one should realize that you shouldn’t compare your accomplishments with the accomplishments of others or lack thereof. You just shouldn’t, there will always be someone who has accomplished a little bit more or who has gone just a little bit further and comparing such can put a damper on the joy that you once contained.
The Ultimate Comparison Platform is… Social Media
Fasting is a practice that takes place in just about every religion and quite frankly I believe that we should all fast from social media every now and again for our own good. Wherever you look on the internet someone is boasting and bragging either directly or indirectly and if you’re not careful, falling short in certain areas will have you second guessing your accomplishments which will kill your joy as sure as the sun is shining. Don’t get me wrong, you should be happy for the people in your life who have gotten one step closer to their individually wrapped happiness but it’s not hard to think about yourself and your journey. It’s human nature and by nature we are all selfish although the amount of selfishness differs. Someone can be completely selfish, somewhat selfish or barely selfish but rest assure as you want happiness for one’s self the selfishness has to be there to some degree in order to survive. Thus more or less to preserve joy.
How often have you been watching what you eat, working hard in the gym or making sure you meet your quota on FitBit daily and as soon as you log into Instagram you see a user who is about five sizes smaller than you boasting about the fact that with Herbalife she’s 10 pounds lighter in 7 days? I’m guilty of such. It is then that I have a certain craving for a Muddy’s cupcake. After you’ve continued to scroll on through and rolled your eyes about three times you stumble upon someone who is posting a photo of their boyfriend as he has done something incredibly romantic for the woman in his life. I’m guilty again, I don’t want the dude but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I’m a bit salty, especially since I hadn’t had a decent date all of 2016. It’s so damn sad. The sadness creeps in and the endorphins that were exerted from my 4-mile jog has dissipated completely. God forbid if it’s a Saturday which I have deemed as “Sacrament Saturday” because everyone in their momma seems to be getting married every damned Saturday, either that or they are jet-setting off to a new adventure beginning at the airport. Truth be told, the airport check-in are the most enviable to me.
Dealing with all of this can make you feel a multitude of emotions. Even if those emotions are only for a moment or two, the truth is, they are there. So what should one do? Should one give in? Should I just get in my car and buy 4 prozac cupcakes? After I finish, should I just cry about the fact that no one worthy wants me or the fact that it’s been years since I’ve been in a relationship? Should I get all bummed out that there are girls who have literally thrown their coochie a party over the years now standing at the altar smiling? Should I get all depressed about the fact that my summer was spent working and working and working and working?
I’m quite sure there are some people out there who would love to see me all dazed and depressed but that’s not really my thing…. I can be salty for a few minutes but it doesn’t last long. The truth is the only person I should be comparing myself to is me. Me, myself and I. My fitness goals are better today than they were the day before, hell in some aspects the year before. Truth be told, you don’t know what that person had to do in order to get that body that they have. Nor do you know if what you see isn’t the effects of photoshop or careful angles. Also if they have truly attained those coveted goals, perhaps that person could serve as inspiration instead of jealousy.
Relationship envy isn’t really my thing because as I want to have those wonderful memories with an awesome guy, truth be told there’s no one’s guy out there that I want anyway, I’m not feeling anyone. The picture that looks so sweet online makes me wonder but not the guy because he’s not my cup of tea anyway. I also know myself and I know that broadcasting my relationship on social media is something I have ever done and who knows if I’ll ever go that route. It’s just not my thing. In addition, I always wonder just what has someone been through with that person and those things are probably some of the things that I’m not willing to deal with which is primarily the reason why I’m single as single can be now.
Lastly, when it comes to traveling, I can be very salty because I love to go but with that being said, I realize that there’s a time to trip and a time to stack. I’ve been stacking chips all summer working at my new job and learning all that I need to learn in order to rock in this role like I did in the classroom for seven years. I have new challenges and even a new car so there’s no reason for me to be salty for long because my expeditions are coming when the time is right.
Back to joy. We all want it. We all pray, hope and wish for it. Luckily I can say, I have found it. Joy for me is me. I am happy because I am grateful. Every day I write in a notebook that I carry with me one thing that I am grateful for. It helps me to keep in perspective the things that matter most. God smiles down on me each day and his light shines through me. I’m working on me and thankful for me. Someone will feel the same one day, hopefully soon. I know my love story is still in the works, it’s just taking a little longer for it to go to press. Find your joy, own your joy and cultivate it. Most importantly remember that what God has for you, is only for you.
Earlier this year, a friend of mine was killed due to someone who wanted to have some material things that really don’t amount to anything. Because she thought her life wasn’t complete without material trappings she felt like his life meant nothing and she took it. Envy and Greed are two of the deadliest sins and they hurt more than you can ever imagine. Never let this evil consume your life. I miss my friend more than I could’ve ever imagined. Rest in love, rest in peace and rest assure as long as I’m here I will continue to honor you my dear friend. Love you dearly EJ!