The word crazy is thrown around so much in our society that for a such a small word there are hundreds of thousands of connotations attached to the term. However is it truly simple? When it comes to women, men and even some other women like to throw this term around as much as they possibly can. Whenever a woman’s mood changes, men deem them as crazy. If she’s a little emotional, she’s crazy. When women are pregnant, they are crazy. If a woman is in the final stages of planning her wedding, she’s regarded as a little crazy. It’s sad that even when a woman is deliriously in love, someone out there is calling her crazy. But what do men truly mean when they attach this simple word to so many complex women?
Just recently, when dealing with someone of the opposite sex that I’ve been conversing with for quite some time I became a bit frustrated with the way things were going. He was inconsistent with his behavior and pursuits of me so I took the straightforward approach because quite frankly I was getting tired of not knowing what’s what. I flat out asked him “what is it that you want from me?” In addition, I asked him “what is your plan for me?” I asked him two simple questions and you know what his reply was, “Girl you are crazy…. can’t you just go with the flow?” Hmm… I thought about it for a while and then I started to wonder two things. 1. What flow? and 2. Am I crazy? Am I truly crazy?
When I think of crazy, I think of women going postal, being violent and irrational. Was I being any of those things? No. All I wanted to know was when you approached me, what exactly is it that you wanted from me considering the fact that your behavior is inconsistent with your words. I pondered on this idea for quite a bit and even did a bit of research.
There was a Glamour magazine article last year in the November 2015 issue written by Amber Madison, entitled Crazy Bitches, Unite! where she cleverly assessed that “crazy” is just a term that men use to “dismiss the legitimate concerns of women”. Hmm… Interesting. I think Ms. Madison is on to something here. Whenever men cannot answer the demands or in my case the simple yet complex questions that we have when it comes to relationships they attach this widely accepted but dismissive term to women in order to throw us off their scent. If you aren’t careful, they will have you really thinking that you could be in fact, crazy. There are even real life examples that prove my theory to be accurate.
Scenario #1 We’re kinda-sorta-together-but-not-really-together
There are so many millennial women who are just “going with the flow” of things and aren’t attaching labels to whatever they are doing with men and as soon as reality sets in and they try to figure out exactly what they are doing, men throw the crazy card. Men will text a woman constantly, take her out on dates, wine and dine her for months, become intimate with her, but when she wants to attach a name, label or credentials to whatever the hell they are doing, here comes the “crazy” again. Who’s really crazy here? If there isn’t a goal for the relationship, you’re the one who’s crazy because all you’re doing is wasting someone else’s time. Who wants to waste time? Wasting time is worse than wasting money—money you can get back, time, not so much. Women we can’t just “go with the flow” when it comes to major things. You can go with the flow when it comes to where you’re eating dinner tonight or whether or not you choose to visit the beach or a pool while on vacation but when it comes to a man’s plans for you, flowing is not the way to go.
Scenario #2 Never following through with what you said you were going to do.
This is the situation that sent me into frustration land. Call me crazy but if you said you are going to come over Friday night, I expect you to show up at Friday night, not Saturday, not Sunday. In addition, if you say that we’re going to go to dinner at 7:00 I expect you to be on your way to my house at 6:15 to pick me up, not calling me at 7:00 asking me the same stupid ass question, “what you doing?” What the f*%k do you think I’m doing? I’m waiting on your inconsistent ass. If you’re the fight fire with fire kind of woman such as I am, you are not going to let things like this just go. Because of this you may either get an attitude or speak up and you can rest assure that the “crazy” label will soon rear its head.
After having done my research, coupled with some soul searching, the verdict is clear. No. I’m not crazy, it’s you who are crazy because instead of doing what you said you were going to do or doing what you were supposed to do and bask in the sunshine of my awesomeness you would rather deal with the wrath of my frustration. That my dear is sheer craziness. You set yourself up to be in a disagreement and rather uncomfortable conversation instead of nestled in my arms after coming through like men should. Nevertheless insanity can become a part of my psyche only when I allow such behavior to continue. The only time a woman should be labeled as crazy in circumstances like these is when she allows such sh*t to continue.
Rest in Peace to my dear, loving and understanding friend EJ. I miss you more than I could’ve ever imagined. I hope you and Papi aren’t keeping up too much noise up there! I find light when I read our texts even though I cannot text you anymore. Rest in Eternal Love!