The only constant thing in life is change.  As you get older your body changes, your food preferences change, your circle of friends change and certainly as time goes on the dynamics of dating constantly change.  There are some constant staples that should never be altered like candlelit dinners, movie night and cuddling but texting has become a massive force in the composition of modern dating.  Sometimes it’s a blessing and other times it’s a dreaded curse.  I think of myself as a very capable writer and regularly I lend my ability to texting, I especially try to type out my charm and wit when I’m interested in a new suitor but truth be told it’s the texts that I sometimes receive that drive me bonkers.

“U up?”

Well I’d be lying if I didn’t say that sometimes this text isn’t so bad, it just depends on who’s sending it.  But you have to be careful in sending and responding to the “U up?” text because it could be detrimental to your social life.  It goes hand in hand with the “you sleep?” text.  I know you’re secretly laughing at this revelation.  Sent from the right guy at the right time the “U up?” text could be an opportunity for a memorable rendezvous but if responded to irresponsibly by the wrong person at the wrong time then dangerous consequences can ensue.  I actually wonder how many pregnancies are preceded by this infamous exchange?  Men usually send this text during late hours when they want to “get in where they fit in” because we all know that men just love to talk!  I almost typed that with a straight face.  


Text abbreviations are a modern staple in communication and much like the “U up?” text this one is many times sent during the wee hours of the early morning before most people have the started their day or the sun has yet to make an appearance.  From personal experience I can tell you that this text can be truly infuriating from the wrong person or it could spark interesting texting banter from the right one.  I know this one guy, we’ll just deem him as “Anticipatory Andy” who makes these three letters as dreaded as DUI.  He’d send this blasphemous text after you hadn’t saw him in a while setting you up for anticipation that he wanted to see you or set up a date and then when your hopes had peaked….. nothing, sheer and complete nothing.  You’d think after the third time he completed the act then I would just cast his ass off the island but I try and give potential candidates a while to prove themselves although unfortunately “Anticipatory Andy” let me down almost always.  Soon enough I came to my senses and I’ve realized that if a guy is going to send this text then there’d better be something meaningful that follows or else your time will be substantially limited in any conversation.


The only thing more annoying than this “K” is the K’s in all things Kardashian.  Thanks to the iPhone and its texting capacity, women aren’t limited to a certain amount of characters in their text messages and we will utilize the opportunity to send a four page letter to our men and that lazy, passive bastard will respond with “K”.  Then they have the nerve to call us crazy, anyone who does that has the makings of a true sociopath if you ask me.  This text is not widely acceptable in dating in most capacities.  It’s lazy, miniscule and dismissive.  Don’t do it unless the preceding text is “come on in, the door is open.”

The truth is texting can be a useful measure of communication but it shouldn’t be the only one.  One cannot tell the tone of your voice during a text and sometimes there’s a fine line between sarcasm and sincerity that just cannot be deciphered by a single text message.  In an age of confusion the last thing you want to do is to send mixed messages, literally, therefore you might want to diminish the texting if it seems to be an issue with real matters of the heart.  Quite simply there are some texts that are much larger in meaning and context than they are in character spaces.  There’s true textual evidence that supports this theory.


Rest in Heaven, Love and Peace to my dear friend EJ, you were just as much a part of my family as those I share blood with.  You and Papi behave up there!