Greetings!  I hope that 2016 has been good to you all.  A new year brings new things, new styles, new ideas and new fads.  One thing that isn’t new to 2016 is our Social Media driven society.  Let’s be honest some of us check on Facebook and Instagram posts more than we check on our friends daily.  In my daily findings in the world of Social Media, I noticed a new edition to 2016, a brand new hashtag, that hashtag is #WASTEHERTIME2016 and #WASTEHISTIME2016.  Now far be it from me to spoil anyone’s fun, I’m all for fun, if you know me personally you’d know that I’m probably one of the goofiest people on the planet.  I will tell a dirty joke just as well as the next person and even though I know it’s a stigma behind it, I love to Dab just as much as Carolina’s star quarterback, Cam Newton.  I am an advocate of fun.  However I do not know why it’s so funny to waste people’s time when it comes to relationships?  Obviously some of these people who have created these hashtags fall in one of the two categories.  People who have never had their time wasted or ones who have and are trying to heal their pain with humor, no matter their diagnosis, I just wonder where is the line between really funny and just plain real?

Wasted time is worse than wasted money because you cannot get time back, when time is gone, it’s gone however money is just an object that can be regained just like numerous other things created by man.  I am coming from the perspective of a woman who has had her time wasted and I’m telling you it’s definitely real for me not funny in any aspect.  Let’s explore the idea of wasted time in greater detail.

#WASTEHERTIME2016 “We’ve been dating for 2 months and then you say you’re not ready for a committed relationship.”

I enjoy many of my Instagram followers, one in particular, a multi-talented young lady who goes by the moniker @indeskribeabull and one of her latest videos chronicled this phenomenon.  Men are quick to call women crazy but who is really crazy?  I’ll be the first to admit that we can be moody, but if you’ve been wining and dining me for a long period of time and we’re doing “relationship” type things why am I crazy for thinking that’s the road that we’re headed towards?  Understanding is the best thing in the world and in the beginning of new relationships, situationships or any type of dating set up it’s best to gain clarity on what both parties want as soon as possible.  On the other hand, men are many things but stupid isn’t one of those things, I personally think they know exactly what they are doing as do women.  Oftentimes men will give women what they believe they want in order to get what they want however men should know that the straightforward approach will get you far more than you’d ever believe.  Why is it that being straightforward is so unpopular?  Who knows the both of you may want the same thing and if you don’t why go through the entire song and dance to waste someone else’s time and possibly cause them heartache just because of what you want?  That alone is selfish and cold.  Just remember that karma is a bitch who has everyone’s address if you’re in favor of wasting someone else’s time for your own personal benefit.

#WASTEHISTIME2016 “Vent to him how you’re single and need a boyfriend, then ask him if his brother is single?”

Contrary to the soapbox that many women tend to stand on men have feelings too.  Many don’t want their feelings hurt nor time wasted no more that I would.  I know many men who are unfairly “friend-zoned” and just like men aren’t oblivious, women are the most cunning of the species so we know when a guy is feeling us, especially if we’ve spent time with the guy or is he “sliding into our DM’s” regularly therefore if you are a hateful young woman who would participate in this particularly mean exchange then karma will find you soon as well.  Men and women both play games and this is a harmful pawn in an all too familiar game of relationship chess, making someone else feel badly while we boost our own ego.  Why must it be this way?  If you don’t want someone, why can’t you just come out and say that to them?  Why must you play around with their emotions?  Who knows if you’re upfront with someone, you just might gain a new friend instead of adding to a list of people who may harbor some resentment for you.

By the same token, I’ve been the woman who turns down a guy flat cold and because of that I am labeled as “cold”, “mean” or I’m sure a “bitch” but why is that so?  I know what I want and what I don’t want therefore I don’t want to waste someone else’s time because I wouldn’t want someone to do it to me.  “Do as to others” is the golden rule.  The reality is that it’s all fun until someone gets hurt.  No one wants to be hurt, no one wants their time wasted, so just don’t.  Be upfront with one another.  But sometimes the upfront person is deemed as the villain due to a society filled with mixed signals, if you aren’t one who chooses to behave in the same manner then you’re the bad guy.  Well say hello to the bad guy, I’d rather be called that than a time pirate.  So trust me when I say “no” I mean it and when I say “yes” I mean the same as well.

When did straightforward become taboo?  When did it become dull and lame?  Since when is mixed signals the preferred manner of dealing with one another?  If you’re just looking for a good time, say it, he or she may be looking for the same and then there is no confusion.  Understanding is a beautiful thing and quite frankly life is too short to be wasting time on anyone that doesn’t want the same as you do.