Girl + Guy = Some Happiness. Girl x Guy = Baby. Girl + Guy + Baby = Baby Mama & Baby Daddy. Baby Mama + Baby Daddy = Confusion. Confusion + Baby Mama = Baby Mama’s loss of deductive reasoning = The Baby Daddy Syndrome.

That formula is what I like to call the baby daddy syndrome which I notice more times than I’d care to admit. No I am not a single mother, I’m not even a mother and believe it or not I’d like to keep it that way. The reason that I choose to write about this topic is because like many things I have an opinion on the matter and it affects some of my friends and family. The formula that I have provided is a recipe for disaster but unfortunately it occurs thousands of times to the young and single mother. The message that I want to point out in this passage is that just because you have a child with a man doesn’t mean that you have to let him have power over you.  Of course I have a classic example to complete my theory.

I went to high school with a girl who has a clear case of the baby daddy syndrome.  Julie is her name and she has two children by her off and on again boyfriend, Jared.  Jared is a classic young man.  He’s attending college, he’s energetic, he loves sports and he loves being single.  The average twenty-something man isn’t interested in being tied down by children or a nagging baby’s mama.  When you start to think of it you can you truly blame him?  He’s a young man who wasn’t ready for fatherhood and not only did it invade his life once but twice.  Julie on the other hand has the nesting thing going for herself.  She’s a young mother of two who is hell bent on marrying the father of her children and because she’s determined to have her happily ever after she’s the one who’s constantly unhappy.

Clearly there are no winners in a situation like this but from a spectator’s view it would appear that Jared has the upper hand.  He can go as he pleases, do as he pleases, have sex with her or anyone else that he wants whenever he pleases while she can’t.  On a Saturday night he can be spotted at Senses, a Memphis nightclub, having the time of his life while Julie’s at home doing the children’s laundry and obsessing over him.  Of course you would imagine that I would never want to trade places with Julie for a hot second.  Perhaps Julie should realize that sometimes a baby’s daddy is just a sperm donor and not a future husband. 

I guess there’s a reason why the nursery rhyme went first comes love then comes marriage then came whomever with a baby carriage because when the last comes secondly usually unavoidable problems follow instead of matrimony.  There are always exceptions to any situation and I know a lot of women who handle their babies’ fathers without any unnecessary stress and that usually occurs when they handle the baby daddy syndrome with the following formula:

Girl + Guy = Some Happiness.  Girl x Guy = Baby.  Girl + Guy+ Baby = Baby Mama & Baby Daddy.  Baby Mama + Baby Daddy = Confusion.  Baby Mama – Confusion = Wise Woman.  Wise Woman + Baby = Difficult but clear situation.  Baby Daddy – Confusion = Grounded Man.  Wise Woman + Grounded Man = Responsible Parents.  Responsible Parents + Baby = The Best Situation. 

This is truly what the doctor ordered!